I suppose a lot of my anxiety has to do with fearing that, if I didn't wake up, I would miss so much of this life I love with Cláudia and Evan. I love those two girls so much.
Claudia and I try to grab hold of the reins of my anxiety and give it a good jossle sometimes. In fact, we have had a lot of laughs just thinking about it. Laughing my way through the fear has been my best relief from the fear itself. Some of our favorites have been as follows:
Me: At least the house would be paid off...
Cláudia: That would be the bright side of it.
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Me: If anything happens to me, I want you to carry on and be happy. (long pause) And also very sad.
Cláudia: Could I just be sad for a couple of months?
Me: No. Sad for always. (long pause) And happy too, of course.
Cláudia (on a much more serious note): You know I would have a big hole in my heart, my love.
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(talking about removing the hair from my legs the other day)
Me: I need to take care of the hair on my legs before going to the hospital.
Cláudia: It is not necessary.
Me: Of course it is. If something happens, I want to be laid out in my bikini.
I suppose this may sound a bit morbid to some but these little exchanges have made both me and Cláudia laugh. After all, a bit of comic relief never hurt anyone.